Pillow
by MookieRoo
Summary: A recent relationship afflicts Tori, making her question everything she has lived the past few weeks. VERSION ESPAÑOL TAMBIÉN DISPONIBLE EN MI PERFIL.
1. Pillow

**Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story.**

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><p>I don't understand it, I simply can't. Why Cat?! What does she have that I don't? God, how can you be with someone like that and not feel like you are taking advantage of her? Cat is too childish, too innocent. Unless that's exactly what you want, to have someone at your side who you can control and manipulate, basically having a pet, not a girlfriend.<p>

It's just that, how else do I explain this to myself, I can't.

Ugh! I'm sick of looking at the ceiling, hitting the mattress every time I imagine them kissing, like I just did right now; or squeezing the covers when I realize that because of my slowness and lack of initiative, Jade is laughing with someone else right now, probably having an incredible time, walking around town, eating ice cream or what do I know, definitely kissing her lips instead of mine. And worst of all, that person, that girl who now has Jade, is my best friend. That's the worst part!

Why? Well, simple, because being my best friend, even if they break up, I can't go back to think about Jade and I having something, I shouldn't even desire it, that's the code.

«You will not have a relationship with your friend's exes.»

Ugh, is not written, is not signed, or even verbally agreed, but that's how it is! Is forbidden, you don't do that to a friend, you don't meddle where their heart got broken. Although, at this time, that hasn't happened yet, the mere fact that they are together should keep me from even imagining it.

But here I am, raving about the news we got from them two days ago.

"We're girlfriends," Jade said. "Deal with it and leave us alone, I don't want to hear a word about it."

Girlfriends, girlfriends! GIRLFRIENDS!

What do I do with this now? I can't even go and complain about what happened with us, because apparently, she and I, only existed in my mind. Maybe she only used me to get to Cat. But no, that's stupid; they are friends since long before I knew them. What did she want then? Why since a few weeks ago she made a custom to come to my house and stay for hours, sometimes days as if it was her own home? Why sometimes she brought me a cup of decaffeinated coffee? I mean, she thought about it, she knows that it's the only type of coffee I drink, she made an effort, she didn't do it out of duty. And when she decided to spend the night, she would steal one of my pajamas and got into my bed, without explanation, without asking, she just did it, that's how she is.

_Friends_, I know, that's what we are, what we were; because nothing we did, in fact, suggests something more. I mean, friends spend time together, do sleepovers, watch movies, and give each other insignificant gifts... but that's what bothers me! Nothing that Jade and I did was negligible for me. Every time she came around, although I didn't expect her, it was an adventure. I watched her coming inside and I knew she had brought me something, even if it was a stupid but delicious lollipop; we never did the same thing or at least that's what it seemed to me, everything was new. We talked about many things, even our intimacies, our desires; she stopped pretending when she was with me, and yes, she was rude but she trusted me.

So, why didn't she tell me that was dating Cat? Because being girlfriends is something serious, something that doesn't count as a simple _I like you, let's see what happens between us_. No, that would've been spending time together, as she did with me, that would be going out in dates, as I felt like when we went to the movies or walked through the cemetery, that although it really scared me, I didn't care because Jade was there with me.

But no, we were not dating; apparently we were not doing anything more than being friends. Damn it! I never imagined like that, «there is a thin line between love and hate», but that line is not friendship, because if it was she wouldn't be girlfriends with Cat, but with me!

The last time she came over and spent the night, I saw her nervous, I thought she was about to tell me that she felt something for me. She didn't even throw me out of bed, as she always did and I ended up sleeping on the floor with my sleeping bag and my inflatable mattress. No, Jade asked me to sleep with her in my bed and we spent the night breathing so close together, feeling the heat that one body emitted to the other, listening to our breathing. I of course didn't sleep one minute, I watched her like an idiot all night. Jade sleeps in a ball, with her knees almost bumping her chest, and covered up to her ears, but gradually, as the hours pass, her body relaxes and pushes the blankets up to her waist. Several times the covered her again so she didn't feel the cold. I neared my arm passing over her and taking the covers for lift them to her shoulder.

Her aroma was a dream, citrus but with a touch of sweet almond. I know, I know, more than anything it was her perfume, but not all of it, her skin emitted that strange sweet fragrance even when she got out of the shower.

A pillow, that's all that I have to remember, to engrave that night in my memory, to imagine that I sleep with her, she's there, anything can happen. A soft pillow that caught her dreams and kept her scent. I keep it gently and try not to hold it for too long, so it doesn't catch my scent and mix it with hers, to preserve it just as it dawned that morning. Every night I take it out, I place it on my bed and every morning and keep it in the closet so it doesn't get confused or accidentally...

Oh no! Where is it? Damn, damn, no, no, no!

"Mom!" I shout outraged.

No, no, no, no ... no, this can't be happening.

"Mom!"

"Tori, what is it honey? For the love of God," she says irritated, but this is important, how else does she want the call her like.

"I had a pillow in my closet, did you see it?"

"Ugh! Was that it?" She asks forgetting to answer.

"Where is it?" I say, waving my hands in despair.

"Where else could it be?" she says as if it makes all the sense in the world. "I washed it, it's in the dryer. If you want it, you can get it yourself."

"Who asked you to wash it?" I ask exasperated.

"Well, it was in your closet instead of your bed, and I assumed it didn't fit in the basket of dirty clothes, so you left it there. What, did you needed it dirty?"

"Forget Mom! There is nothing we can do now," I say, slamming the door and throwing myself on my bed.

It's done, it's gone, I lost it. Everything and the only thing I could keep from Jade went away with water and soap in the washing machine, plain and simple. And I'm here biting a stupid pillow to keep my screams from being heard throughout the house. Which wouldn't bother me, if only Jade was the one making me scream.

YOLO be dammed!

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><p><strong>AN This is my second attempt at writing a Ficlet, I'm practicing to write a very cool project I've had in mind for a while. I hope you like it. Also, the first attempt was another fic I published this week, it's called Vendetta, if you haven't read it, I urge you to take some time, I loved writing it. Have a good week and read you around, leave a review!**


	2. Sleepover

**Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story.**

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><p>It's been a week since Jade and Cat announced their relationship, and if the weekend wasn't torture enough, the rest of the week was death itself.<p>

Neither seemed to have a problem in showing their affection publicly. Many teachers were totally surprised by Jade's attitude towards her new girlfriend, completely sweet when she thought no one was watching and a second later, threatening if someone looked at them, judging them or underestimating Cat. Actually, not very different from when she was with Beck, but this time it really bothered me to see them holding hands or for Jade to carry her books to help to her locker while she was skipping instead of walking, it was completely irritating. Both seemed lost in each other during lunch, of course, when they didn't take the opportunity to disappear into the Janitor's Closet for their make out sessions and yes, unfortunately, I was the one that had to catch them in the act while I was looking for a place to be alone. I opened the door and saw them, kissing in the most tender way and I fell apart. I only apologized, looking down, I couldn't stand the scene I had just witnessed and closed the door slamming it and walking as quickly as possible to the bathroom on the second floor, which fortunately was empty.

I looked in the mirror and I couldn't help the tears that fell out of frustration and anger, but also of desolation and helplessness, even sadness.

I felt someone opening the door and hurried into one of the stalls. I saw Jade's red boots but she didn't say a word, I knew she was waiting for me to come out so we could talk and she had no intentions of leaving, so I finally went out and played dumb.

"Vega," she said with regret, which took me by surprise. "I'm sorry about before, you didn't need to see that."

"It's okay Jade, everything is fine," I said with a half smile. "I should've knock before entering, don't worry, really. What are you doing here? Don't you have class?"

"No, I have a free period," she said giggling answering my overloaded declaration and questions. "Cat asked me to invite you to my house tonight, we are going to watch a movie and, well, talk."

"No offense, really thank you, but I don't want to be a third wheel."

"Vega," she says changing her tone to her typical threatening one. "My house, seven, is a friend's night, period."

And just like that she turned around and left. How could I say no to such a nice invitation?

I spent all afternoon wondering if I should go until Cat called begging me with that tender voice of hers, promising that there wouldn't be little love scenes and since I really longed spending time with my friends, I accepted. It was an interesting evening, I arrived at about 7:10 pm, Jade had an _I said seven sharp_ face that nobody seemed to be able to change. I didn't know if she was upset that I wasn't punctual or that I came here after all. Maybe she wanted some time alone with her girlfriend and here was Tori meddling in, but hey, as the night went by we relaxed and had fun. We watched a couple of Disney movies because the little kitty didn't survive more than ten minutes with the horror flick that Jade chose; we painted our nails black at Cat's request to please her girlfriend, _yuk, the rainbow!_ We laughed at the things that had happened in class, we ate pizza and now are preparing to go to bed; It's four in the morning and we are exhausted.

"I can take the couch in the living room," I offer due to the fact that they are girlfriends, obviously they are going to sleep together and at this moment, I am a third wheel.

"Dooon't! Jade's bed is big, the three of us fit without a problem, right love?" Cat says offering me a place and once again hurting my ego. "Love" is just that although they both have spent the entire night avoiding acting like a couple, these corny, romantic words bring me back to reality in a millisecond. They are girlfriends!

"Sure Vega, we all fit in," Jade says with no quibble and even some enthusiasm.

"Okay," I answer shrugging, hiding my surprise, too kind for Jade, but anyway, I get inside from the left end of the bed and get settled.

I thought that Cat would go in the middle, but I remember that she gets anxious when she feels cornered, so Jade takes that place.

"Perfect, Jade sandwich."

At one end of the official girlfriend and at the other the idiot who thought she would be until last week.

I choose to give them my back and pray that they get horny by my side. God, that would be so uncomfortable.

I'm having trouble falling asleep, a bunch of thoughts go through my head right now. Jade's bed is big, yes, but the three of us are separated by merely half a feet from each other, which, if you think about it, is not enough for the tension that exists, well, in my head, but exists.

I hear Cat's heavy breathing, she is fast asleep in less than fifteen minutes, I think Jade is awake and I'm an owl. As the minutes pass I begin to think about many things, trying to clear my head from the girl that I like, who is here, once again with me; from the fact that if I turn around and smell her sweet fragrance once again, I'll probably end up with an inevitable urge to kiss her or at least to steal that pillow and keep it under lock to avoid anyone touching it.

I begin to feel heat from behind me. It gets closer. Perhaps Jade already fell asleep and is unconsciously lifting her knees to her chest, but no, I feel her breath on my neck and suddenly a soft kiss on my shoulder.

_Oh God, what's going on!_

"Tori," she says almost inaudibly.

This isn't right, my God! Cat is less than two feet away. What is she doing? What's wrong with her? Why did she kiss me?

"Jade, what are you doing?" I whisper very, very low, I don't want to wake Cat.

"I don't know," she answers in the same tone.

I turn around slowly and observe her carefully. She has her sight lost, she's nervous just like she was that night, the last time she slept over at my house.

Her smell, MY GOSH HER SMELL! Is so pervasive, so sweet, I'm filled with feelings I don't want to have, that I shouldn't have. I shift my sight from her face and see Cat's arm around her waist hugging her. _Damn it... they're girlfriends_ I think with great sadness, I can't take my eyes of that gesture.

"Tori, look at me," she says raising my jaw with her right thumb pressing on my lips, caressing them gently.

_What is she doing? She'll kill me if she continues, this pain in my chest increases with each move, stop it, please stop._

She doesn't say a word but she doesn't stop either and I get lost more and more in her light touch, I look at her lips they are opened a little, I look back to her eyes and catch her looking at mine, as if she felt curiosity of them.

_I can't do this anymore; this has to stop._

Jade looks up meeting my eyes. Why is she doing this to me? Why? She must know how I feel. Why is she playing with me? Why did she kiss me? Why is she caressing me now? Why do I have that Coldplay song stuck in my head? Why Twitter? Why?

The seconds pass and the only thing that builds up in my head are the doubts and she notices.

"Sss," she tries making a sound to silence me avoiding raising her voice.

I feel her fingers leaving my lips and slowly moving her hand behind my hair until her thumb gently pinches my left lobe then passing down my cheek, she does this a few times and then she takes me softly by the neck getting me closer to her, I instinctively close my eyes and feel the grace of her lips.

_She is kissing me, oh God, I'm kissing her, we're kissing!_

Her lips are so soft, her breath is warm; I'd never felt a kiss like this before; the tender strokes that both tongues draw, the way her lips imprison mine, letting go for a moment only to catch them again asking for a second more, just one more. We try not to make a sound as I start falling into the deepest gulf that may exist. Her hand slowly makes its way down my neck caressing my arm and turning slowly, creating a friction that only increases the tension in my body, when she arrives at my waist line she goes down my back, making circles with her fingers, and I'm forced to hold down all the moaning my body needs to scream with one sigh, which doesn't help matters, I contain all the air to keep our kiss quiet, but it begins to become desperate, finally I separate us to take a breath, both of us heavily breathing with our mouths open to silence our actions, our foreheads resting in one another, we don't even look at each other. I want another kiss, I need it, Jade has feelings for me, that kiss wasn't like other kisses, I know, she can't hide it, she's still fondling my back as we recover from the lack of air. Why would she do that if she didn't care about me?

Suddenly, I feel her mouth capturing mine again, with even more intensity than before, as if she needs to make sure that what we just felt was real or a dream. But it's real, with every movement, I feel a tingle that runs through my body, which ends again on my lips that are already numb from the force of our kiss. In an instant, I feel Cat's arm moving among us and I sharply pull apart.

Cat is here, and I just kissed her girlfriend, I'm betraying my best friend less than two feet away, this is destroying our friendship, I killed her confidence and my integrity by simply allowing Jade to touch my lips that way before we kissed. I feel so guilty, this isn't right.

I start to shake my head, not saying a word and press my lips together trying to savor all I want in this life, Jade's kisses. But it ends here, it can't happen again; they are together and I'm not going to meddle.

The moment that I realize that Cat just was settling, I make my retreat, I lift the covers and get out of bed.

"Tori, wait!" Jade whispers.

"I have to go, sorry," I say, as I get dressed as fast as I can.

"And what do you think you are going to do? It's five o'clock in the morning."

"I'll call a cab and I'll wait outside," I say taking my bag.

"I'll go with you, wait," she says getting out of bed, but I can't allow it, I don't want to have a moment alone with Jade, at least until I have managed to put my ideas in order.

"DON'T!" I say raising a hand. "I'll talk to you tomorrow or Monday, not now. Tell Cat... whatever you want... that I felt sick and I left."

I turn around and leave them there.

What the hell did I just do? I got carried away and yes, Jade is Jade, how the hell could I resist, but this was wrong, I suck as a friend.

Really, YOLO be dammed!

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><p><strong>AN Okay, so ScottyBgood spoke about something yesterday in his review and it got stuck, so I'm continuing the story, I want to break the code, so here it is, probably one more chapter after this one, or two. It wont be more than that. Thanks for reading and please comment, you make my day. Bye!**


	3. Explanation

**Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story.**

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><p>If I could only fool Mom with a fictitious illness to avoid coming to school, at this time I wouldn't be here dying of embarrassment, hoping to crawl into a hole and disappear.<p>

I haven't spoken with Cat or Jade since I left her home early Saturday morning, although only Cat has made an effort to contact me. But how could I answer her calls if I have no idea what to say.

_Cat, I kissed your girlfriend. Yes, you were asleep hugging her as I felt her tongue passing through my lips and her hands caressing my back. Have a nice day!_

No, I couldn't answer the thousand calls she made during the weekend. She will soon be here and I won't be able to avoid her any longer, I don't know if Jade told her anything, I don't think she would, but who knows, maybe that's why she wanted to talk to me urgently. Ugh, this doesn't help! To think and think about what happened after I left just makes me more nervous!

"Hey Tori," my best friend makes an appearance, I haven't even told him about Jade, I was afraid he would try to do what I did when he thought he was tripping out for the same girl I fell for little less than six months later. "How was your weekend?"

"Boring, you know, at home, tucked in bed, watching movies," I don't lie, I spent two days hibernating, feeling the stupidest person in the world.

"Uh, I had a date with none other that Tara Ganz."

"Really? The blonde from Karaoke Dokie?"

"Yes, she asked me out and how could I refuse."

"_She_ asked you out? Well done Andre," I smile teasing him a little, he loves girls and he is always dating someone.

"Hiii!"

Oh no, Cat! It's time for the truth, straight face Vega, courage. I mean, Tori. Damn you Jade! Your stuff sticks to me.

"Hello little red!" Andre greets her.

"Hi Cat," I try to pretend that everything is fine, everything is normal, nothing happened here, at least not with my lips, no... mm, mm, nope.

"Tori, can I talk to you for a moment before class?"

Shit, alone? Everything went to hell, surely Jade told her, or maybe she heard us, damn, why didn't I think of that possibility until now?

"Then I better leave you ladies, see you in Sikowitz's class."

Thank you _friend_. Deserter! Okay, breathe, everything is okay, you didn't ruined your friendship with Cat by kissing her girlfriend. Oh God!

"I hope you are felling better," she says a bit worried, "Jade told me the pizza gave you stomach ache and you left early, I'm sure it was the anchovies. Right? Not everyone can handle the anchovies and we ate a lot of pizza. I'm sure it was the anchovies. I mean, it wasn't because of Jade and me, right?"

"Cat... I-" No, she doesn't know anything, but I can't tell her what happened with Jade, at least until I clarify it with her, because even I don't know exactly what happened. "Sorry I left without saying goodbye, you were asleep and didn't want to wake you up."

"Don't worry Tori, I'm glad it wasn't because of us. I don't want anything to change and you and Jade were starting to get along, you know, to be friends."

_Actually more than friends but that's that Cat, she chose you._

"It's all right, don't worry Cat, it was just the pizza."

"Yeih!" She celebrates leaping while Jade approached us from behind and says hello with a single movement of the eyebrows and an almost pout. "See love, Tori is okay with our relationship, it was just the food."

"Aham, I told you a hundred times."

"Yes, but I needed to know from Tori." She smiles as if she had opened a birthday gift or something. "Now let's go, we are going to be late for history class. See you later Tori!" She starts dragging her by the hand down the hall. Jade turns back to me and looks down with some regret. We definitely need to talk.

Three hours later, I leave the bathroom and I feel a strong pull into one of the music rooms that is closed for repairs, by who else, Jade.

"Okay Vega, talk. Why did you flee on Saturday?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did I stutter? Why did you leave after the kiss?"

"I can't believe you're asking me why," I say upset, what did she expect me to do, "your girlfriend was less than three feet away, hugging you, what did you want me to do? Stay? Continue kissing you? You are crazy Jade," I mumble and start walking in circles, how dare she ask me this. "How about you, tell me why you kissed me?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She gestures exasperated.

"No, it's not!" I firmly stood in front of her.

"Puff!" she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, typical Jade, expecting everyone to read her mind.

Both of us stay silent for a moment, but I have no patience to wait for her to drop her ego and tell me what the hell crossed her mind.

"Well? Are you going to talk or should I leave?"

"Damn it Vega, you can't be so oblivious, you know why," she says beating around the bush, but I have no time for her games. I take my things off the floor and walk towards the door to leave when I hear her before taking the handle. "I like you!"

I stop and I'm standing there, without turning to her.

"She likes me, she likes me, she likes me, she likes me."

I repeat it in my mind but it doesn't feel good. If she likes me then, why she hooked up with my best friend. Is it a game for Jade? To see where my limit of endurance ends? Because I'm on the line where you can't return, in fact I crossed it already with a pair of wet lips... plus a couple of ruined panties, especially Saturday's.

"If you really liked me you wouldn't be with Cat."

"What I feel for you has nothing to do with Cat," she replies defensive and I lose my composure, I step back to face her.

"Really? She's your girlfriend Jade, you should be in love with her, you should only she like her, what are you doing kissing me, liking me, tell me. What did you want, to have something with both of us at the same time?"

"What?" she asks astonished.

"Come on Jade, what do you expected me to do after the kiss? Did you want me to propose having a secret affair without my best friend's knowledge? Sure you thought you could get away with it behind your stupid girlfriend's back.

"Don't talk about Cat like that!"

"But that's what you think, isn't it, why did you let all of this happen then? Why are you so bothered that I left that morning? Why?"

"Shut up Vega! Don't even think about insulting Cat again."

"She is my friend Jade, I would never think Cat is stupid, but we're taking advantage of her innocence, she is unaware of what you do. How you manipulate her, that's the only thing that interests you, right, having her as a pet."

"I care about Cat, she is important to me, so you better shut up. You have no right to talk about her like that nor me."

"Why are you girlfriends then? If you wanted something with me, why did you chose her?"

"Tori, it's not that simple. I wanted something with you for so long, I even made the impossible to spend time with you, but you didn't give me a single clue that you liked me back."

"So, you got into a relationship with Cat to make me jealous? How mature Jade, you could've spoken to me and find out without ruining our friendship."

"My relationship with Cat has nothing to do with you, nothing!" She reluctantly insists, but then what? Who can understand her? Anyone? Does anyone in this crowded room? No, okay.

"I can't keep doing this Jade, I just can't. I don't know what you want, you don't tell me what you feel for Cat or why are you girlfriends, I don't-"

"Cat was my girlfriend before, okay."

Say what? Her girlfriend before? Before what? Before Beck? Obviously Beck dumbass, but then, that was over two years ago.

"When?"

"We were 14 years old, it was in the summer before starting high school," she continues without even looking at me as if she still wants to keep it a secret. "We decided to keep being friends and not to mention it again, not even Beck knows," Jade confesses in a low, calm voice.

"Why did you break up?"

"Why do you care Vega!" And there went the calm, you have to have much tact to speak to this woman, you don't know when she will explode.

"Why did you got back together then?"

"Cat talked to me. She asked me to give us a chance, that things weren't the same and maybe now it could work."

"And you said yes just like that, knowing that you liked me, you said yes."

"Tori, is Cat, I owe her, I owe us an opportunity. I was the one who ended our relationship back then and I did it because I wasn't ready for something more serious."

"Oh, I get it! So now you're… with Cat."

Perfect, just perfect, Riiight on feels, thanks Jade.

"Vega! That's not it, damn it!" She breathes frustrated. "I HATE YOU!"

"Thanks for reminding me," I reply sarcastically, she always says she hates me, but I know she doesn't, she never has.

"It's just that you won't let me say it like it is, you just assume and assume," she yells pushing herself to the wall and sliding to the floor.

"Well, tell me, I'm all ears. What do you want with me then?"

"I don't know Vega!" She responds with a loud and desperate voice, I see her really confused. Okay, let's talk calmly. I sit beside her and wait for her to say what she has to say at her own time.

"You don't understand, how could you."

"Try me, what can you lose." I say resigned, I rather know what she feels even if it breaks my soul.

"I never felt again what I once felt with Cat, not even with Beck, or anyone. Cat is just so-" she's lost in her memories, trying to find a word that describes it all. "So perfect."

Ouch! Low blow ... or rather high Oww paaain, I feel like someone deflated one of my boobies and mine are not even so big.

"All relationships are different Jade, you don't have to feel the same, it's not going to happen," I facilitate a sincere reflection based on my short experience.

"It's not that Vega, Cat was my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first love, my first... many things, you know?" She refrains from giving more details, but with the latter _first_ was enough. Cat, you are so lucky! "I thought that's why I felt so different with Beck, but I never managed to felt complete with him. As much as we tried, it never happened."

"So that's why you broke up with him the last time?"

"Well, I started thinking that maybe the reason why I never fell in love with Beck, is that I'm not really as bisexual as I thought. I began to feel things for you, but in the end, Cat came back and-" she turns her face to look at me as she finally explains things. "Tori you have to understand, when that love that you longed so much for to come back, that which you wonder what _would've happened if_ we hadn't broken up, when that feeling returns to you pleading for a chance, you don't say no." She takes a deep breath and again loses herself in the infinity of the room. "I didn't think I had a chance with you and said yes to Cat."

"Jade," I sigh irritated; this whole thing is a puzzle. "Look, neither you nor I want to hurt Cat. You decided to give it a try, do it. Only then, you will be able to remove from your head the _what ifs_."

"And you?" She asks worried.

"Me? Nothing, I remain on the sidelines. This isn't right, what we did wasn't fair to Cat and I'm not going to betray her anymore," I say getting up and preparing to leave.

"Tori, wait-" I hear her say as I turn the handle, "and what if you were that person I would've have _it_ with, that thing I wanted so badly?"

"We'll never know," I open the door and I go to my next class, I already have a detention by skipping this one.

This is more complicated than I imagined.

What is that thing that deserved to be dammed? Oh yeah, YOLO!

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><p><strong>AN thanks for getting here, I love your theories, I'll see if they give me ideas, because this fic is all a chapter by chapter thing n_n. I welcome your comments. So, I'll be reading you. Bye**


	4. Bookstore

**Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story.**

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><p>The night is beautiful today, all the stars are visible, something really rare in Los Angeles.<p>

I came home with a stupid smile and a sense of peace that I haven't had in a long time, and the thing is that today was the last day of school, today the torture was over, today began two months of not seeing or Jade or Cat. Two!

I ran to my room, threw my bag on the floor and made a dive into my bed, which I embraced with pleasure for at least twenty minutes.

I've gotten used to watching, miserably, how Cat and Jade behaved at school, I even trained myself to focus on other things whenever I felt a romantic moment coming. I've read about eight books in three weeks just to have an excuse to ignore them or loose myself in the words without explanation.

"They are for the special literature class I'm taking in the afternoon," I mentioned without care a few times that Andre or the other guys asked why, all of the sudden, I seemed lost in another world, nay another universe.

But who I'm I kidding, I didn't have any _special literature class_ or anything, I spent the afternoons looking for new books to read in the bookstore, where I made friends with many people who, like me, would sit in the comfortable armchairs with a cup of coffee in hand; it was almost like a book club, except that we all read different books.

I felt so much energy that I jumped out of bed and decided to call Mikaela to see if she wanted to go out for coffee or something. She is such a cute girl, completely different from any other that I know; she has big brown eyes, round and adorable, a nose slightly upturned and a pair of medium size lips so pink that she seemed to always be wearing lipstick, although I know she hates make up; her eyelashes are huge, long and so sexy when she blinks, especially when she laughs and her cheeks rise up with a couple of dimples to die for, but what I like most is that wavy brown hair that bounces as she walks across the bookstore. I won't deny that I frequently spend the afternoon flipping pages through my book and just watch her walk.

Do I like Mika? Definitely! But that didn't change things with Jade. My pseudo blue-eyed friend still provoke a couple of uncontrolled sighs when I see her, especially when she is watching me, which lately she's made a custom of. Occasionally, I would look up, interrupting my reading, to take a sip of soda or eat some french fries and I would find her piercing orbs fixed on me. She tried to hide it, but how can you hide the rapid meeting of two people who still have many questions to answer.

Well, the point of all this isn't Jade. I must leave her behind. This summer will be different and I'll find a way to get her out of my head.

"Mika?" I asked when she answered the phone. Why? Explain to me why people do this? It's silly, I'm calling her cellphone, is obvious it's her, but whatever.

"Hi Tori, how did the last day of school go?"

"All good, I just arrived home and I felt like having a cup of frappuccino," I simply said, it was a very hot day, "and well, I was wondering if you are free from your classes and wanted to join me."

"Just now, I'm about to enter the classroom, I just have to deliver my final essay for psychology class. I think we could meet up at the café near the bookstore in about," she paused for a few seconds, "¿40 minutes?"

"Excellent, see you there," I said excitedly. It's not the first time that we go for coffee, we usually do in the evenings after she completes her shift at the bookstore, Mikaela works there part time after class, but just this week she switched to the morning one to get more out of her day as she finished her second semester at university.

I quickly changed clothes into something that made me look less of a schoolgirl and I fixed my hair a bit in the mirror, it wasn't a date so I didn't want to give it too much thought. I grabbed my wallet and house keys and went downstairs to head outside, it will take me ten minutes to get to our meeting place and I didn't want to make her wait.

"Are you going to the bookstore?"

"No mom, I'll have coffee with Mikaela, I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Okay, don't come back too late, I made family pot pie for dinner," she said with a little dance, and it's just that it's the best pot pie in the world. "Why don't you invite her? It would be nice to finally meet your new friend."

"Um, well... if she is free, I'll bring her," I turn back to see her as I turn the doorknob. "Bye mom!" I close the door behind me and I find a small, reddish surprise. "¿Cat?"

"Hi Tori, where are you going?"

"Emm... I'm... going to meet with a friend from my literature class. What are you doing here?" I hesitated a bit. I wasn't expecting to find her, not today, not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow, nor the rest of the summer!

"Well, I wanted to talk to you and ask you for a favor."

"Cat, Does it have to be right now? I'm about to leave and honestly-"

"It will only be a moment, really, if you have to leave we can start walking while I explain," she pleaded with a face of anguish that I couldn't say no.

We walked down main street towards the center, we went quietly, I still had some time before I had to meet Mika, meanwhile my little friend told me her dilemma and the thing was that she was a little worried because she didn't know what to give to her girlfriend, you know, my frustrated passion; It's been a month since they resumed their relationship, which I know because she told me that day she pulled me into the music room.

"Cat, I'm Sure Jade will like anything you give her, you know her better than anyone and she cares about you."

"The problem is that she made me promise that there wouldn't be any gifts, you know how she is, but I want to show her how much she means to me; I also know that if I don't do something special, she will complain afterwards... you know how she is," she said crestfallen and resigned.

"Well, if you can't give her a gift, what where you thinking on doing?"

"That's the thing, and here comes the part where I ask for a favor," she hesitated a moment and got nervous, I didn't understand why, nor exactly what I had to do with all of this. "I was going to take her to a restaurant she loves, but she refused if it was only the two of us, so to convince her I had to lie and…" she stopped completely and I unknowingly went forward a few steps, when I turned back to look at her I suspected the worst.

"You didn't tell her I'd go with you, did you?"

No! I don't want to go on a date with Cat and Jade! Worst even, to a celebration of their fabulous relationship. Nope, no, no, no, I adamantly oppose.

"I had no alternative, otherwise she wouldn't go," she pouted and I could swear it was as fake as her hair color.

I crossed my arms and shouted: "Cat! How could you?"

No, I won't, no.

"Tori please, I beg of you, I'll owe you anything you want. Please help me, okay? This is important to me…" She looked worried and I saw her eyes slowly crystallized, she was about to cry, so I reached in and hugged her.

"What happened between you? You wouldn't be so sad if all was well," I asked curiously, Cat was completely stressed out with _the event_; surely Jade is behaving a bit sharp or cold.

"I feel her pulling away, she doesn't pay attention to me like before, she doesn't look at me in the same way; she pretends, but she doesn't realize that I know her enough to see she is putting on a mask."

Oh no, Jade! Damn it.

Yes, I've noticed that over the last few days and how Cat has been all week; it was very difficult for her to concentrate on our final science project, I did everything virtually alone.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think it's a good idea that I'm there with you two on that special day," I mentioned as we parted.

"But you can take someone with you, a friend, how about the one you will see today?"

What? Invite Mika to a dinner with the girl I like and my best friend?

"I don't think it is available."

"But you can ask and if she can't I'm sure Beck or Andre would love to come with you," she insisted holding my hand and making a flirty movement from side to side, letting the bangs of her pink dress sway.

"Ugh! Okay, I'll ask her, but no promises, if I can't find someone to go with, you'll have to go alone with Jade. Got it?"

"Got it. Thanks Tori," she smiled tenderly and said goodbye to me. I saw her skipping away on the sidewalk and turned to continue my hasty way to meet my friend in time.

Arriving at the café I saw that she was beckoning me from inside and I joined her apologizing for the delay. Actually, I arrived on time, she was ahead five minutes, and as she waited, she already lined up to order. We bought our cold drinks and headed towards one of the benches in the park across the shop, it was calmer than the tables facing the street.

Mika knows the whole story with Jade, one evening I went to the bookstore and unloaded my anger with her when I asked for a book and she failed to find it. I growled in frustration and stomped out of the place quickly. I sat at a table right in that café, cursing the bad day I had, then she accommodated herself next to me, completely indifferent. We were silent for several minutes and finally she asked me what happened to me, promising to do her best to help me. I mocked her and told her it would be impossible, that my life was a disaster starting with the letter J going through the whole alphabet until it return to the letter E. She laughed out loud and mentioned that I was funny, and that she still wouldn't mind hearing what was which ailed me. That day she learned everything there was to know and we became friends. We made a habit to go out for coffee and chat; I don't think there's much we don't know about each other, talking to Mika is so natural.

"So, a double date with _The Origin of Evil_ and her girlfriend, hmm? Interesting," she scoffed the situation in which she had been dragged into.

"I know, you don't have to come, and I think it'd be weird looking at them as a couple while we're going as friends."

"And what if we go as a couple?"

What? No, she's crazy! Mika is not gay. Of course we have often talked about it and even if she doesn't leave out the possibility of someday liking a girl, she is the most heterosexual person I know, at most she could pass as heteroflexible and nothing else.

"And what would be the benefit of that?"

"You know exactly what I mean, you can make Jade jealous and see if she finally decides for you. Jealousy sometimes is a great friend," she drank her coffee with a raised eyebrow, as if her plan was the most normal thing in the world.

"No, she has already chosen and I don't want to get into that. The worst part is that Cat will suffer much if that happens and don't want to hurt her."

"Okay, we won't. Let's go as friends," she said a little annoyed. "I can't wait to meet the famous _Happiness Ruiner_."

Can you stop giving her nicknames, please. What if one slips out tomorrow?

"Fine, I leave it... for today, we'll see what happens after dinner."

"Shall we go to my house then?" I remind her of my mom's invitation and she nods. We rose from the bench and walked the distance to home laughing and thinking about things that might happen at dinner tomorrow, while the orange sky welcomed the night.

After an almost incredible dinner, and I mention the _almost_ because Trina didn't stop talking throughout the whole meal, we went out to the garden to watch the stars, Mika and I lied on the grass side by side.

"It's a beautiful night, you should make a wish," she said taking a deep warm breath of the night's air.

"I haven't seen a shooting star to make a wish," I replied without taking my eyes of the dark sky.

"Well, look at it this way, you are in the presence of millions of stars, some don't even exist anymore, and you will have this opportunity only a few times in this city. Either way, all these stars go through a fleeting moment in your life. Make a fucking wish!" she demanded, pushing my shoulder.

"All right! I will, don't hurt me," I closed my eyes and the only thing that came to my mind was Jade.

"May she be happy."

That was it, I don't care how or with whom, I just want her to be happy.

Today was a great day, at least today... YOLO was worth it.

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><p><strong>AN Thanks once again for dropping by, I welcome your comments good or bad, there is always a good chance to improve, I'll be reading you. Bye!**


	5. Double Date

**Disclaimer: Victorious and characters belong to their original owners. No exchange of money has been made following this story.**

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><p>"Tori, someone is looking for you!" Trina screams from the kitchen. Can't she come here and tell me like a normal person? No, she has to let everyone know that this is a madhouse.<p>

I watch the clock but it's still early, Mikaela is going to come for me in about an hour or so to go to that unholy double date with Cat and the snowflake. Well, I've been ready for over a half-hour so I better get downstairs already.

"Tori, at last! I have to leave and you take all the time in the world to come down to tend to…" she paused for a moment pointing to the red sofa. "Jade"

Jade? What? No! I don't want to see her, but my body betrays me and in less than a second I'm looking at her, is sitting with her back to me. Phew, luckily she didn't saw my stupid reaction.

Trina grabs her purse and starts her way to the exit door. "Don't-leave-her-alone, not even for a moment."

"No one likes you!" Jade screams while my sister slams the door.

"Jade!" I walk downstairs and sit on the other sofa by her side.

"Vega!" She greets looking back at me. Oh Jade, as tender as ever! "So? Did you lose something?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, why are you staring at me?"

"Jade, you came to my house, I'm waiting for you to talk and tell me what you want," I answer without understanding, and it's just that... it's useless.

"Cat told me you are coming to dinner tonight. I wanted to know why?"

"She invited me and I didn't want to say no, I saw her a little sad," I mention and wait for, I don't know, her version of things?

I wait, and wait, and wait... I breathe; I wait... _Say something Jade!_ You have to get things from her with a spoon, like the last inch of Nutella left in the jar and you can only use your finger to get every single drop... Wait! Stop thinking about it... Now Tori! Stop!

"I don't want things to be awkward for you, like the night of the sleepover, I know it isn't easy for you to be alone with the two of us," she explains finally, turning me away from the empty train of thought that I was riding just now.

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I won't go alone so don't worry, everything will be fine."

I watch Jade clearly reacting badly, completely opening her eyes and gesturing that she is listening, she wants an answer.

"So?" Her patience lasts a microsecond. "Cat didn't mention anything about you going with someone, who is it?" She asks as if she was jealous.

"She's a friend of my literature class."

"Friend?" She laughs without any consideration and even with a little mockery.

"Do you mind? Because if you want me to I can ask her to go to another place and you and Cat can go to dinner alone," I answer with the same intention, who is she to belittle me like this? Can't I have friends? Am I so insignificant?

"You promised Cat, if you want to see her crying, don't go," she growls angrily making an emotional turn of 180 degrees; she is really upset, but so Am I, I'm not a charity case and I know that Mika enjoys my company, I don't have to feel bad about what Jade always insinuates, I'm tired of always trying. If Jade wanted to be with me she could have. _You've gotta hold on to what you've got, it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not._ Okay, I should stop listening to the music that my mom plays on Sundays while ironing.

"We'll go to the dinner. And thank you for coming, but you should be on your way to pick up your girlfriend and I have to meet mine."

"Your what?"

"Girlfriend!" I make very clear. Yes, she heard me right, Mika suggested yesterday that we should go as a couple and we will, let's see if Jade gets a grip and understand that I'm not her inflatable doll and I won't be waiting around stuck in a closet until it pleases her to play with me.

"Wasn't she only your friend? Now she is your girlfriend. Your relationship is going too fast Vega. Are you sure that this _person_ you're talking about exists?" She finger quotes. Another joke, fine Jade, if this is the way you want things, perfect, let's start with the penalties.

"I didn't want you to feel bad, but... now that I remember, why would you feel bad if you are going with YOUR girlfriend," players enter the soccer field. "Now, I think is better for you to go because I have to meet Mika at the library before going to the restaurant."

"Mika? What? Are you taking a puppy or do her parents hate her and gave her that name?"

"How about if you ask her yourself!" I say taking my stuff and opening the door. "Come on, I don't want to be late."

Great, just great! She had to come and leave her Jade-ism, as always, if she already staked me on my chest, she better make sure it is very deep for it not to come out.

"Don't you want me to drive you downtown?"

"No, I want to walk a little, I still have time. See you in a couple of hours."

Finally Jade leaves and I go back home; I just needed her to go away and leave me alone, Mika will come soon for me, and we already made plans to go for ice cream before dinner.

Yes, she loves to eat dessert before any meal and I find that somewhat sweet and unique.

I don't wait for long and I hear the doorbell, I accommodate my clothes and I hasten to open the door. I must say that for someone that wasn't going as my girlfriend, Mika dressed to be everyone's envy, few women look so good in a casual outfit, definitely no one like her does. She is wearing a military green wavy skirt just above the mid-thigh, a white blouse with unordered skulls all around that suit her so well, I see her dark brown leather jacket resting on her arm, and of course, her Dr. Martens brown boots in which she looks so, so good.

_Mika, you're so straight and I'm… such a woman!_

We leave and walk without much hesitation to the ice cream place. Meanwhile, I tell her what happened a few minutes ago.

"So we are girlfriends, eh?" She laughs gracefully, but without malice. See! It's different; Mika doesn't mock me, is refreshing and makes me feel so good. "Right on, it is time for you to show the Coyote who the Road Runner is."

"Ha, ha, ha, where do you get those sayings from? You are crazy," I take both ice cream cones and we head to the boardwalk benches. The night is falling and there's a little warm summer breeze.

"So, do I have your approval to make the love of your life jealous?" She asks taking her ice cream.

"Yes, but I need to ask you something," I say on a serious tone. "Please try not to hurt Cat, she is very sweet and she doesn't deserve to have a bad night, worse in her own celebration."

"Tori, you know me, I'm not the type of person who would do that, but I'm also not the one that will stand aside when someone she cares about is being insulted and mistreated. I won't let her play with you."

"You'd be a cool girlfriend. If only you were gay," I stick my tongue out and smile until she comes very close to me and laughs at my lips before giving a short, tender kiss that leaves me completely cold.

"I already Am," she whispers before separating and continues laughing. "Don't look at me like that Tori. If you're going to go around saying I'm your girlfriend, you should at least give me the benefits of such an honorable title," she pushes my shoulder with her body. "And by the way, I love your cherry flavored lip gloss."

And I… I'm left without words, Mika just kissed me, Mika, do you understand… MIKA! Our first kiss, well, maybe the last, but still... I liked it. I must have a particular color on my cheeks because I feel them burning and my girlfriend keeps smiling at me. Eventually we finished dessert and go straight to the restaurant. The waiter takes us to the table that Cat reserved and we sit next to each other, I put my hands on the table while we skip through the drink's menu and we both ordered a pair of exotic juices with ginger.

There is no awkward silence between us, we sit here without uttering a word but we speak volumes with our hands, lacing our fingers together and separating them softly. I know Mikaela is not my girlfriend, but all this attention feels so good.

Suddenly we hear a familiar voice and immediately release our contact, more by instinct than by shame.

"Cat," I receive a sincere hug from my little friend and see Jade go straight to her chair, with no other bother than to make a gesture with her head to greet us. She is very serious, I'm sure she saw us holding hands and didn't think it was funny. I take the opportunity to initiate the appropriate introductions and watch as my best friend immediately starts a warm conversation with my date, it shows that she is happy for me, and I realize that in all this time, I haven't felt happy for her, suddenly I feel a little guilty. Cat deserves more than this from me, from Jade, or the situation. But we're here now, I just hope it doesn't get out of hand.

Jade is very tense, I can feel it just by looking at her, she is studying Mika, watching her up and down, gritting her teeth strongly as she closes her jaw.

"So, you are Vega's girlfriend?" She interrupts with all the mocking West style. And here we go. It's noticeable that she is ready to attack, first player on the field. From Team J, _Doubt_ prepares its shot. "How long have you known each other? Since yesterday?"

"Actually, a little less than a month, right?" Mikaela says turning to me for confirmation.

"So little time and you are already a couple? You must like girls that are easily manipulated."

"Why wait if someone worth it comes into your life?" She replies unruffled. "And don't confuse kindness with innocence, Tori is a smart enough woman to let herself be manipulated."

Catch by Team M! Wow Mik, thanks for the compliment.

"Where do you go to school or have you graduated?" Cat asks trying to relax the conversation; she definitely notices that her girlfriend is distant and aggressive.

"Actually, I graduated from school a year ago and I just finished my second semester at college."

"Cool, and what do you study?" Cat continues very excited but Jade rolls her eyes denoting her apathy.

"Psychology and I also work at the bookstore."

"You must have very little time for Vega with so much responsibility in your hands."

"Not at all, it's simply a matter of organization; I study in the mornings, work in the afternoons, where I see Tori all the time, and in the evenings we do our homework together at my apartment until Trina picks her up."

"Yippee!" She sarcastically celebrates, and there's player number two _Jealousy_. " You must already be sick of the damn routine."

"That's the good thing about having your own apartment, you can always break the routine," Mika gives me a wink and I get lost flustered, imagining that if all these were true, how much I would be enjoying my life! Definitely, another catch for the Team of the brunette by my right.

We talk for a good long time; the waiter comes for our order. For me a tomato soup; Cat orders a shrimp salad with lemon and basil; Jade a four cheese gnocchi and Mika an Asian chicken salad. Everything looks so delicious here and the evening goes better than I imagined, the only one who doesn't bother to participate other than to throw a sassy comment here and there is Jade, and since nobody has paid her much attention, she's been quiet for the last ten minutes.

The conversation ranged from how we met, through which is the most exciting thing about college, to the origin of Mikaela's name, the one thing that Jade longed so much to know to make fun of her again. However, when Mika explained that it was her grandmother's name and she was a famous writer who died a couple of years ago, Jade couldn't make any judgment.

"So you got a tattoo in honor of your grandmother?" My little friend asks curiously.

"Yes, Do you want to see it?" She says pulling up that beautiful wavy hair of hers and tying it in a high ponytail to discover on the back of her neck the flawless tattoo of a bird feather beautifully crafted to detail, on the tip of you can see a stylized old pen tip with a couple of small ink droplets and a skull as an inkwell on the side.

The first time I saw it I had to watch it for at least fifteen minutes, discovering each stroke and each meaning. Mainly the pen is in honor of her grandmother and the skull is for her grandfather, he used to be a great philosophy teacher; the skull was the inkwell because she always based her stories on her husband and he said that in her words he lived a thousand adventures.

"It's amazing, did you see it love?"

"Mmm Hmm!" Jade mutters in response and Cat just shakes her head. Apparently, also tired of the ridiculous attitude that she's had all night.

Mika gently approaches me and gives me a sweet kiss on my cheek to which I dedicate a smile, making sheep's eyes because I've really enjoyed the night; this is how your girlfriend should make you feel. Not like Jade, all she has done is lean on her seat with an ass face.

"Ugh, I'll go and figure out what's taking so long with the bill before I get in a diabetic coma!" Jade stands up with anger and goes to the manager. Player three, _Wrath_, even though he clearly missed his shot and kicked far away from the target.

We split the bill and left the place to go home. After all, I think Cat spent a lovely evening and I have to say I did as well.

Jade made the rounds from house to house, as Cat asked and almost demanded; she simply couldn't refuse. The first to get off was Mika who, to say goodbye, came close so naturally placing a not short but simple kiss on my lips, I mean which couple doesn't kiss goodnight.

"Call me when you get home," she said and Jade darted away not even waiting for her to enter the building.

The second one to stay was Cat, who said goodbye to me waving her hand, but when she tried to get close to her girlfriend she was dodged with an: "I'll let you know when I get home," Cat looked away and got off the car walking slowly head down until she entered her house. "Come over to the front, I'm not a fucking chauffeur."

I swear I would rather call Trina and endure all the way home than drive ten blocks with Jade.

"You know it wouldn't have cost you anything to be nicer tonight," I say annoyed while I buckle my seatbelt. I hate seeing Cat so sad and I hate to think that the Jade I was getting to know, a few weeks before this whole mess, was only for appearances. I liked that Jade, in fact I fell for her, where is she?

"And you should have stayed home," she starts the engine completely bothered and drives straight to my house.

"Well, if I did, you wouldn't have gone out with Cat and she really wanted to celebrate this special day with you."

"So she told you, she told you that today is one month since we got back together."

"Can you tell me what's wrong with you? She's your girlfriend, you should celebrate this date with her, make her feel good, what would've taken you to kiss her farewell or have a nice face at dinner?" I say letting the silence fill the space between us. We arrive at my place and she turns off the engine but leaves the doors locked so I can't get out.

"I'm not happy with Cat," she finally confesses, I stay in silence waiting for her to explain herself because I don't want to start another discussion. "I've been thinking is time to end things, it would be best to be honest and tell her I fell for someone else."

"Fell? She's talking about me!"

There is an injured player, her _Pride_, he just moved the ball not even looking to score. She is hurt, I hurt Jade, I hurt her with the lie of Mika being my girlfriend. God, I'm so sorry, this shouldn't have happened this way.

"It doesn't make sense anymore. You're happy... Without me."

"Jade... I..."

"No, Don't say anything, I don't want to know. I have enough being a firsthand witness of how an incredibly beautiful and intelligent woman treated you as if _only you_ existed in the world, she would take your hand and caress your fingers and you... you smiled without even realizing it. I saw you staring at her as she spoke and you died on her lips, she simply drew a smile in your face. You're happy and I envy her with all that I have because I'll never get to be half of who she is, I'll never make you so happy."

Her last player doesn't even play, _Envy,_ falling on the field as the King piece of a chessboard when you surrender. Jade lost and I lost along with her.

Cat isn't happy, Jade isn't happy and I... I have totally perfect made-up girlfriend who could've easily have become friends with Jade in different circumstances.

"I think is time for you to go home, I still have to get to mine and talk to Cat."

"What are you going to say?"

"Is over, you can be happy but that doesn't mean that Cat and I should be together. I'm hurting her and she deserves to know the truth, I don't love her and I never will."

"Jade I'm sorry," I sincerely say. I'm really sorry. I think that I should also go and talk to Mikaela; ask for her advice.

I hate feeling so trapped, even though we had a good time at dinner, I hurt the girl I love. Everything has an ending and this one didn't have a fairy tale one.

Today once again... YOLO be dammed!

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><p><strong>AN Thank you for stopping by, is something that I can't ignore, time is very valuable and I feel very privileged that you devote a few minutes to read this.**

**I hope you enjoyed today's chapter. Don't forget, there's nothing easier to write a ":)" or ":(" Please leave a review! Bye.**


	6. Sweater

**Disclaimer: Victorious and characters belong to their original owners. No exchange of money has been made following this story.**

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><p>It's been a little over a month since that failure of a dinner after which Jade confessed she loved me and would end things with Cat, but it really didn't happen that way.<p>

That night my redheaded friend came to my house just after midnight, she had been crying for who knows how long, her eyes were all red and swollen and she kept sobbing; it took her a while to explain what happened.

Apparently, just as she entered her house, she knew things were over, she not only ignored her as her girlfriend, but had begun to treat her in a very condescending way.

Jade didn't have the slightest intention to appear happy with Cat or to show how she was the best girlfriend in the world, not even to provoke envy in me; and there it was, in that moment, she realized that Jade didn't because I was the object of her interest.

That's why her girlfriend was so distant when I was around and that's why, over the course of the night, emotionally, she went from aggression to defeat. Watching me being happy with someone else destroyed her.

Right then, Cat took a cab and went straight to her house. Jade was still giving me a lift, so she arrived and waited in the burgundy sofa in her room. She told me that when her girlfriend walked in she had been crying, she saw her beaten and couldn't help but hug her and tell her everything would be fine, that it sure hurt to see someone she loved with someone else, but she understood perfectly; that love wasn't something that you can decide and that they definitely had to break up.

Of course Cat knew how she felt, she was in love with Jade, and to accept the truth and then sacrifice herself for her ex's happiness hurt a lot.

I didn't know what to say, I felt guilty and I didn't know the extent to which Cat had realized that the feeling was mutual.

After breaking the long embrace, both began a conversation that revolved around me and how we started dating and building a relationship, and when Cat asked her to get back together, she agreed because she owed her the chance, but she never felt the same because she had developed feelings for me.

So you see, Cat didn't come to my house just to vent. No, she came to do her due claim. She asked me why I didn't tell her what was happening. Why I never mentioned how I felt about Jade, why I agreed to spend the night of the sleepover with them and why I agreed to dinner.

I told her that it wasn't my place to meddle in something that clearly wasn't my decision, that although I wanted things to be different, what they decided wasn't any of my business and I accepted both invitations because she is my friend and she asked me to. How can you deny a favor to a friend? How can you deny something to Cat?

She looked at me with a face that I never imagined to see in life.

"You are really dumb Tori."

Yes, she also told me. She asked if I still felt the same and I confessed that I did and also that Mika was nothing more than a friend; I said that I didn't want to be a third wheel and so, when Mika suggested us going as a couple I accepted.

I obviously lied, a little white lie, the truth is that I did it to rub it in Jade's face, but I just lied to Cat once… well twice, I never told her about the sleepover's kiss, but that is separate issue.

Cat is a good friend, she understood and asked me to give her some time to get through this. She asked for the summer, but she said more than once, that if Jade and I are happy together, we should give it a try. After all, who is she to you prevent two people from loving each other.

My admiration for her grew even more, she went from being my sweet and tender best friend, to be a hero that, surely, I could never match.

And that brings us here today, six weeks after the fact and two from returning to school.

I'm dying to see Jade again, I'm dying to drown in those intense blue eyes, I'm dying to see her in those black leggings, with those very short dark skirts with those very tight tops with holed sleeves, I'm dying to see what color she has dyed the strings of her hair and which boots she'll wear, although that's the least important thing, any of them make her look like a badass; but mostly, I'm dying to find out if her panties match those very sexy bras she always wears... anyway, I digress.

"Hmm, hmm!" I laugh a little inside my own lips, remembering all the things that I like about Jade; I think about her, I imagine her... and then I scare myself to death. It's been six weeks, it will be eight when we finally see each other... and, if she forgot about me already? I'm dying to see her, but I know that if she ignores me, I'll die of pain. Eight weeks is a lot.

"Hey, ready for coffee?"

"Let's go!" I answer as I close my book and take Mika's hand out of the library to our usual evening coffee.

Mikaela, hmm.

That Sunday I told her everything that happened the night before with Cat and she agreed it was a good idea to take the summer to analyze things, let Jade reflect on her attitude and I could decide with a cold head, if I really wanted a relationship with her.

Nothing happened between the two of us, mainly because Mika... Mika is straight! Of course that didn't stop my mind from running, flying and crashing on the idea of kissing her lips again, this time to eat her mouth fully... again and again, with passion and despair.

In my mind there were many kisses, not just on her lips. I don't know how many times I dreamed the same thing. She and I were in her apartment, doing homework or reading, suddenly I took her face gently, cupping her cheek and she smiled as I approached her slowly and then I stole a kiss. It was a soft, wet kiss.

I took turns with my mouth trapping her lower and upper lips, in a game that ended with me pulling away, leaving her eager for more. Her protest was to steal another kiss, a deeper one, one that also came with a squeeze of my hips, starting everything; a kiss here, a lip bite there, her smooth tongue caressing mine without asking any ridiculous permissions and while all this was happening, Mika positioned herself over me without a second thought.

Her hands roamed my bare skin gently, walking with her fingers through my abdomen, tickling me; a smooth movement from her part to lift my shirt and, bit by bit, we started losing our clothes, my t-shirt fell over a chair, her skirt over the lamp appeasing the environment and giving it a romantic touch; a hickey on her neck, twenty on my breasts.

Mmm-hmm, what I can say! The Mika in my dreams loved my boobs. The unfortunate thing is that whenever we reached the end point, my subconscious would immediately wake me up, right when I lost my panties.

They were very exciting and recurring dreams, but they never reached their proper conclusion, undoubtedly Mika is a beautiful and sexy woman and to have her as a pseudo girlfriend for one night awakened many desires in me, but as my hormones were screaming for her body, my heart knew it belonged only to Jade.

"I have to tell you something that happened this morning," Mika says doubtfully, as she sips a little of her hot cappuccino.

"In the bookstore?" I ask without much importance, she nods still peaking the cup with her lips.

"Jade came looking for me."

My eyes open wide and feel as the air dries them immediately, every thought left my mind.

"What happened?" I ask curiously.

"She came looking for a book and she saw me she fled. I made the guys at the door stop her until I asked for a break and chased her down to talk."

"Uh huh?" I replied confused, so she really didn't go there looking for Mika, she just ran into her. "Well, what happened?"

"Well, I bought her a cup of coffee... and... one thing led to another, we kissed, had sex, and now we're getting married."

"Mika!"

"Ha, ha, ha, I'm sorry! But your eyes almost fell out, babe. Can you relax?"

"Puff! Continue you evil spawn," I muttered with a grin.

"Ha, ha, ha, your face at its finest. Hate, jealousy and lust! You just imagined me having sex with Jade, right?" She laughs without realizing that she is about to drink some really hot coffee in one gulp and burns her mouth. "Shit, that hurt!"

"Ha, karma! Now, can you tell me what the hell happened with Jade"?

"She wouldn't talk to me, so I followed her for one whole block until she finally turned around and in a very threatening manner asked my if I was making you happy," she says before taking a sip of her drink, this time blowing her drink a little to avoid another burn. "I told her that I hoped so… as a friend, but that we had ended things a few days after that dinner because you hated the idea of being with someone while feeling love for another person."

"What did she say?"

"She asked if I knew who that other person was, to which I replied that of course I did... and his name was Beck."

"MIKAELA!"

"You are so easy piss off, Tori," she keeps laughing, watching the stupid face I just made. "I said yes, and that I couldn't understand how you could like someone who enjoyed making your life a living hell all the time, but if you felt so deeply for her is because you saw something that's really worth it... and I also told her not to dare ruin it."

"Thanks... I think."

"I think you should go to her house and... I don't know, go to a torture place and buy Jade something that she'll enjoy, you know... like a whip?" She froze for a few seconds, closed her eyes tightly and shaking her head said: "Nope, no, no, no, the image of you having _50 Shades of Grey_ type of sex is something I don't want in my mind."

"Ha, ha, ha... I would like to go see her, but…"

"But what?" Mika interrupted, knowing exactly what was going to say. "Don't give me that old excuse about the promise you made to Cat, it's only two weeks, nobody's going to die because you see her before that."

"After everything that happened, I don't want to disappoint Cat any further. I have to wait."

"Tori look, I understand you want to keep a promise to your friend, especially with all the guilt you feel about the kiss that night, but you know what? Cat... is no longer in a relationship with Jade, and you can't spend your life thinking about how things will affect her."

"I know, but I think it should at least call and ask if she is okay with me seeing Jade before school starts," I say as I stare at a small ant walking along the table.

"Tori, you listen to me... If you're going to go to Cat for permission every time you want to do something about Jade, that relationship is not going to be between you and the Migraine Girl, it will be a threesome... it will be a Ca-tor-ade, get it?"

"Sounds like a Gatorade. Gato-rade, Gato which means Cat in spanish! Cat, ha, ha, ha, they both work," I chuckle absurdly at the comparison.

"I see you kept the more important part of what I just said."

"I get it, I get it. I'll think about it tonight and tomorrow I'll decide whether to see Jade or not."

"Okay, whatever you want, but I repeat, do what you feel, not what you think won't hurt Cat. Be a good friend but don't put a relationship that hasn't even started yet, on the line, a relationship that you have wanted for so long." We get up and I head for the sidewalk to go home. "Come on! I'll give you a lift."

"If my dad sees you giving me rides on your motorcycle, he'll kill you."

"Tori, it's a '79 1200 Harley Davidson FXS... fully restored. Believe me, the moment your dad sees me parking, he'll ask me when will I finally marry you."

"Suuure!" I say sarcastically as I climb right behind her and adjust my helmet.

"Besides, you straddling me and strongly holding my waist, makes me look so damn hot! You win and I win."

"Mika! Why aren't you gay?" I scream in frustration, she can be so provocative.

"Someday Tori... tell Jade to take care of you," she puts on her helmet and I fix my hair so it doesn't get tangled in the wind. I grab each side of her tiny waist and we head straight on the main street.

I get home and see Trina warming up her voice and I better run to my room to go to bed, I'm completely exhausted from the busy day.

Everything is darker than usual and I don't quite find the lamp switch. Okay, back to turn the main light but... My room is suddenly filled with a blue light and a universe of stars projected on my walls.

"What…?"

"I don't like candles, but... I wanted to do something romantic... for you."

"Jade?" I see her approaching me and slowly takes my hand intertwining our fingers, which takes me by surprise... God! Everything takes me by surprise! Apparently I don't have the night to think this through, I don't even have a minute, no. It's now or never.

"Tori, I... don't know if you still have feelings for me but…" she hesitates and doubts, slowly loses contact and backs away whispering with no intention of me hearing her, "What the hell am I doing?"

Hell! Exactly... to the hell with it! My act of courage, perhaps the only one I've had in this whole mess. I head up to her, grab her by the waist encircling my arm to her body, so she doesn't run away with her questions, we look at each other's eyes for two-seconds. Yes, two! I count them 3... 2... and without saying the one I plant a kiss on her lips. Surprise, surprise! She is nervous; she takes a moment to understand what I just did and replies by opening her lips.

It's a sweet kiss, a girlfriend's kiss, although we are not girlfriends yet, it feels just like that.

Magic, fucking magic, damn tingling going through my body, damn butterflies that decided to ruffle my belly and my heart... damn my heart, it feels like it's ready to explode with each pump.

She is shaking, Jade is shaking uncontrollably and without thinking too much, everything that I was feeling turns into worry. I immediately separate us and ask:

"Jade? Are you okay?" She doesn't say anything, just a loud sigh as she hugs my neck resting her lips on my shoulder.

I rock her with a gentle sway, everything's okay, I have her, she is fine and I can wait as long as she needs.

"I'll let you down, you're going to hate me and you'll leave me," she says this so low that it's hard to hear her, even though she is inches from my ear. I don't mention a word, not yet.

Jade, the girl who is always scaring humans, is afraid, shows insecurity, she is clinging to me as if at any moment I could run away. But no, I'm here and I let her know by squeezing her harder, I don't let go; we hug mesmerized with the soft movement.

"No, you won't, I could never hate you and if one day I leave, it will be with you by my side, you know? I'm not going to let you go so easily."

"Marry me," she asks leaving a kiss on my neck. Jade West intensity level, plus two hundred percent.

"I think before that, we should be girlfriends."

"That doesn't matter, just marry me."

"Okay, but on one condition, for you to be my girlfriend for at least five years," I joke and hear a slight laugh.

"I accept," she says without another word. [Rrrggg]

"I think my girlfriend is hungry," I hear a little roar from her stomach.

"Your girlfriend could devour a gorilla, I haven't eaten since this morning," she confesses, resting her forearms on my shoulders. "By the way, I saw Mika today."

"I know, she told me."

"I think I like your ex," she mentions avoiding eye contact.

"I really like yours," now she looks back at me with a brow lift.

"Maybe we could invite them to a walk through the cemetery one of these nights," she suggests like is the most common thing. Sure, I already imagine Cat walking through the cemetery at night.

"No!"

"No?"

"No, I only want to date you, at least for a while, I don't want a third or fourth party in our relationship."

"Hmm, let's leave clear that it was Tory Vega who marked her territory," she whispers with an absurdly sexy smile. God, Jade... I'm going to die very soon if all continues like this.

"No doubt about it, you don't even have the right to the humping pillow."

"The humping what?" She asks out loud.

"You know, the pillow with which... you know," I say somewhat embarrassed.

We both laugh a bit before fully releasing the grip.

"That reminds me," Jade says taking something from her bag, "I should've returned this a long time ago but... I couldn't."

"My gray sweater?" I haven't even noticed it was gone.

"Do you remember that you lent it to me one night to go home?" She bites her lip and looks down smiling. "My humping pillow… sort of."

"Jade!"

"Relax, my mom was foolish enough to wash and it lost its charm."

"Well, you no longer need one," I approached a short, cute... a short and cute kiss.

"No, I don't…" [Rrrggg] Her stomach reminds us it's dying of hunger. "Can we go to the pizza place? I'm sure that if I don't eat something in the next 20 minutes, my stomach will start to eat itself."

"Ha, ha, ha, let's go girlfriend."

"Come on Vega."

I think today and for a long time, YOLO won't be damned at all.

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><p><strong>AN Thanks for reading this story which has come to its end. I hope you liked it, but if you didn't, feel completely free to send me to hell with a review. If you liked it they can leave me a ":)". You know I appreciate and thank the time you've taken reading, the silly stories that come to my mind.**


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